Well, no time like the present to get started...

A new year and a new me. Starting off 2009 with a bang. My motto is going to be "Revamp, Reconstruct, Renew".

I need to REVAMP my way of thinking.
~ The way that I eat. Mindless snacking. Grabbing the first thing I see. Portion control...just ridiculous.
~ The way that I blow off structured exercise because I'm "too tired" or not "in the mood".

I need to RECONSTRUCT my thinking.
~ Overhaul my self esteem. It is so low. I am always feeling fat and ugly. Never have anything to wear, feel unsexy to my husband (even though *he* doesn't feel that way), embarrassed of how I look when I am around family/friends/school parents/etc...
~ I need to feel as pretty as my kids and husband tell me I am. To match what my inside is.
~ Stop being so pessimistic and miserable. I am so crabby a lot of the time because I am so unhappy with myself. I am overly sensitive to everything that people say and do. I have a poor outlook on life and I need to realize all that I have that I am so blessed to have.

I need to RENEW myself.
~ Have energy.
~ Eat well.
~ Exercise more.
~ Teach my children healthy habits.
~ Love my husband the way that he deserves.
~ Go back to the happy, optimistic person I have always been.
~ Make my outside match my inside so that I can live a long, happy life.
~ Feel proud to be in a picture. My kids are going to wonder what the hell happened to their momma for the past year or so! I'm hardly in any pictures!
~ Give myself the permission to put myself first priority. I spend so much time worrying about what everyone else needs. I need to take care of myself in order to take care of my family.

I *need* to do this. It is no longer just something I "want" to do. I need to do this for me. I'm starting to be a shell of the person I used to be and I don't like it. I am looking forward to this journey and I will work as hard as I need to in order to make myself a better person. For myself. My husband. My kids. My family. My friends.

Numbers as of Friday, January 2, 2009

Starting weight: 196.4
Short term goal: 176-181 (in a 12 week period)
Short term total to lose: 15-20 pounds

Long term goal weight: 135-145
Long term total to lose: 51-61 pounds

Starting BMI: 28.9 (overweight)
Starting measurements:
Chest -
Bicep (left) -
Bicep (right) -
Waist -
Hips -
Thigh (left) -
Thigh (right) -
Calf (left) -
Calf (right) -
Neck -